Lee-Ann's Spare Fridays episode 8
Why did I make Lee-Ann and Gina go for a long walk over a short distance?
Series 2 episode 2 (episode 8 if we’re counting from the very beginning) of my audio sitcom Lee-Ann’s Spare Fridays was released this Friday. If you haven’t listened yet, you can do so at Apple podcasts, Spotify, or in your browser without having to sign in to anything at https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jysaville. And if you have listened, thank you — much appreciated and I hope you enjoyed it.
If you’ve never run across Lee-Ann’s Spare Fridays before and you’re wondering what I’m on about, let me briefly explain. Fortyish Lee-Ann has been moved on to a four-day week at work and wants to spend her Fridays with her portly black and white cat (Lord Salisbury), or researching the history of the Yorkshire Dales village she moved to a few years ago to be near her baby niece. Unfortunately her interfering older sister (Gina) doesn’t think those are worthy pursuits and tries to divert her. Lee-Ann's Scottish neighbour Douglas isn't on anyone's side but his own. It's structured like a sitcom, but I write and perform it as a monologue from Lee-Ann's point of view.
Fitness tracking
This episode was largely inspired by my other half buying an Apple Watch a few months ago. He bought it for the fitness monitoring, but all the stats and measurements seem quite addictive and all-encompassing. It periodically asks if he’s started a workout when we’re walking to the supermarket; if he’s set an outdoor walk workout going and then we stop to admire a view, it asks him if he’s finished. It randomly jingles and tells him it’s time for mindfulness. A friend of mine says she shouts at hers when it tells her to stand up while she’s deep in concentration at work.
Perhaps there's a reward scheme at JoylessMiddleAgedWomen.com, and if you log enough steps you get prizes.
Lee-Ann’s Spare Fridays episode 8 (series 2 episode 2)
It struck me as just the sort of gadget Gina would embrace but lack the patience for, and techno-sceptic Lee-Ann would have no time for. All I needed was an excuse for it to come to the fore, like a long walk that stops and starts.
Orienteering
We’ve already had a hint that Gina’s not the best at navigation:
by that time we’d taken a wrong turning that I daren’t point out, and then once we got back on the right track she put her meditation music on and to be honest I think she’d zoned out by the time we got there, because we drove straight past the car park entrance. Twice.
Lee-Ann’s Spare Fridays episode 5
So what better than orienteering? Regular listeners will know that Gina would never be able to admit she lacks the skills, and they will also know that Lee-Ann is fond of old maps, which at least implies some sort of familiarity with how to read one. It’s never that simple with Lee-Ann though, is it?
Friend T and I did orienteering in school sports sessions for a while in the mid-90s. Not by choice, and we never did any Duke of Edinburgh awards. We did benefit from lots of fresh air, and bonding through adversity. The teenage incident that belongs to Gina did not happen to us, but it oh so easily could have.
The Ordnance Survey, for those reading this outside the UK, is the organisation that maps Britain, they have a potted history on their website but basically got going right at the end of the eighteenth century. The National Library of Scotland has a wonderful OS map viewer, if you like that sort of thing — you can split-screen old and modern maps of the same place. My dad’s uncle worked for the OS from the 1930s-70s, he surveyed large swathes of Scotland as far as I know. Not at all relevant to the episode, think of it as bonus information if you will.
Fairfax
Thomas Fairfax, parliamentary commander in the English Civil War, was not only from Yorkshire but Wharfedale where I live. He did a lot of dashing about the north during the 1640s and it sometimes feels like you could chuck a pebble anywhere in West Yorkshire and hit something with a connection to him and his military campaigns.
The Tim Roth film referred to is To Kill a King, where he plays Oliver Cromwell, in case anyone was wondering. Incidentally, Fairfax is played in that film by Dougray Scott, an actor from Fife who has always played Lee-Ann’s downstairs neighbour Douglas (from Fife) in my head1.
Squirrels
I assured him that yes, it had been a solitary rogue squirrel.
Lee-Ann’s Spare Fridays episode 8 (series 2 episode 2)
Don’t ask because I don’t know. It made sense to Lee-Ann at the time, is all I can say.
Behind the scenes
We had to turn the heating off while I recorded this episode because the radiator makes a whooshing, whistling noise. It was below freezing out; talk about suffering for art.
Once I’d got the microphone set up, it took 31 minutes and 1 mug of tea. So actually I barely noticed the heating was off. The editing took considerably longer than that, even though I’ve learnt a new shortcut in GarageBand for something I used to take ages to do. I didn’t finish the final pass until Friday morning. Yes, I did used to spend Sunday night doing my homework — why do you ask?
Listen now
I’ll leave you with one last quote, and then if you haven’t already you can listen to the episode
Gina said she knew I hadn't been listening to her, I never did listen to her and she didn't know why she ever bothered telling me anything. To be honest my life would be immeasurably improved if she stopped but in this instance I had been listening. It's just that I'd chosen to disregard most of what she'd said.
Lee-Ann’s Spare Fridays episode 8 (series 2 episode 2)
Coincidentally, James Cary has been talking about this over at the Situation Room this week. Casting your characters in your head, that is, not specifically Dougray Scott playing Douglas.